


new year's kiss

by moonsuhs



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, House Party, Light Angst, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21994432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonsuhs/pseuds/moonsuhs
Summary: It's New Year's Eve and all Joong wants is a New Year's kiss from anyone around (read: one boy in particular).
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Kim Hongjoong, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, side woosan - Relationship
Comments: 20
Kudos: 277
Collections: Ateez fanfics, just some excellent fics worth remembering





	new year's kiss

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written Ateez before, but this was really really fun!
> 
> For clarification: this is an au, and although the characters are obviously based on the boys, they are still characters and their actions are not reflective of them in any way (basically I love San but I needed a bad guy!!!) For their ages, Joong and Yeosang are both seniors in high school and the rest of them are college freshmen.
> 
> Minor edits made August 8th, 2020~

The day had finally come.

2019 was almost over, and Joong couldn’t be happier about it. Not because it had been a terrible year, or because he wanted it to be 2020, but because he had an invite. To a New Year’s Eve party.

His parents had always made him spend New Year’s at home, where he was safe and there was no alcohol, or boys, or fireworks. Joong loved his parents, of course he did, but by the time he was a high schooler, all he wanted was to go to a New Year’s Eve party. Because you know what happens at New Year’s Eve parties? New Year’s kisses.

There was very little in the world that Joong wanted more than a New Year’s kiss. It was so romantic, and exciting, and maybe every scenario in his head was straight out of a cheesy Christmas movie, but he still wanted to experience it more than anything. So when his friend Wooyoung told him about the party he was going to, Joong flashed his best puppy eyes and pouted his lip until Wooyoung gave in. Not that it took much anyways, he’d always had him wrapped around his finger.

Joong had met Wooyoung in geometry class his sophomore year of high school. Even though the boy was a year above, he was forced to retake the class after he failed it the first time. They hit it off quickly because they were so different. Joong helped him keep up his grades, and Wooyoung showed him the adrenaline of skipping classes to buy snacks at the convenience store and taking bathroom breaks to play basketball. They ended up having math together the next year as well, Wooyoung’s senior year, and they grew close.

Wooyoung had called him the morning of December 31st to tell him to dress up, because this was going to be the biggest night they’d had since the last day of summer. Joong was so excited he could barely contain himself. He’d called his best friend, and also his plus one, Yeosang, immediately to let him know about the dress code, and told him he would be over earlier to get ready.

His parents were easy enough to convince, and although they were very suspicious of Wooyoung telling them there would be absolutely no alcohol on the premises, they gave him permission. Wooyoung had always been a sweet talker, and Joong knew they wouldn’t be able to say no to his “I promise to make sure our little Joongie gets home safe and sound!”. Joong had to stop himself from physically cringing, but it did the job and they got the OK.

At Yeosang’s house that evening, they spent hours trying on clothes, fumbling with straighteners and eye shadow, and dancing to songs in his bedroom before they decided they were ready.

“Damn, Joongie, you look hot,” Yeosang said, watching him touch up his glittery eyeshadow in the mirror one last time.

Joong turned, made a dramatic cat claw gesture with a growl, and then dodged the shoe Yeosang threw at him in disgust.

“Do that one more time and I’ll lock you in here and go to the party myself,” Yeosang threatened, but giggled immediately at the look of betrayal on Joong’s face.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Joong retorted. “I’m the reason you were even invited, Sang.”

“Rude, but fair point,” he agreed, and Joong offered him a smile.

As Yeosang retrieved his thrown shoe to put on, Joong looked his reflection over again. His makeup was natural and flattering, his hair was lightly waved, and his fit was the perfect amount of sexy and sophisticated. His collarbones peered out of his loose top, his ears adorned with silver piercings and hoops. He did look hot. He was not going to go into 2020 kissless, no way.

With a little nod of approval, he left the bathroom to find his shoes and pull them on. Following his friend down the stairs, they yelled goodbye to Yeosang’s parents before getting into his car and heading to the address Wooyoung gave him.

“Joongie, what if Seonghwa is there?” Yeosang asked in the silence of the car ride.

His heartbeat picked up at the mention of his name.

“He won’t be,” he said, more to himself than Yeosang.

“But what if he-”

“He won’t be there. I’m sure he has tons of better things to be doing tonight than going to a lame house party.” Joong cracked the window to get some fresh air, worried he’d sweat his highlighter off before they even walked inside.

Joong had had a crush on Seonghwa, the beautiful, gorgeous, breath-taking sophomore, ever since he started freshman year. More than three years ago. Seonghwa was now a freshman in college, and Joong still couldn’t shake his crush.

The worst part was, they’d never spoken. Joong had been in love with him for all 4 years of high school and he’d never even said a word to him. It was almost embarrassing.

Actually, it was incredibly embarrassing.

But that wasn’t important tonight. Thinking about Seonghwa was last on Joong’s agenda for the evening. He needed a New Year’s kiss and he needed one now.

By the time they reached their destination, Joong could already hear the muffled base playing. Yeosang parked on the curb, cars lining both sides, and they got out to walk towards the massive house. People were scattered around in groups, some greeting them as they walked by, but Joong recognized none of them. He wondered whose college friend of Wooyoung was hosting, but he’d probably never even find him to ask, judging by the size of it.

Yeosang led the way through the front door, already wide open, and they stood, side by side in the entryway. Gawking.

There were so many people dancing in the front room that Joong could barely see any furniture, and the lights were all off in favour of the strobe lights coming from the _actual DJ_ on the other side of the room. The music was so loud it took him a few minutes to adjust, his pulse pounding in his ears to the beat of the strobes flashing on the wall. He had never seen a house party like this one.

The pair must’ve looked so overwhelmed that they caught the attention of a boy in the midst of the dancing crowd. He weaved his way to the side and approached them with a wave and a smile.

“Joongie! you made it!” Wooyoung nearly squealed to him. He reached up to ruffle his hair but Joong smacked his hand away before he could come close.

“Don’t you dare. It took me 30 minutes to style,” Joong said with a defensive hand over his head, but he smiled at his enthusiasm. “Of course we made it. I’m getting a New Year’s kiss if it’s the last thing I do.”

Wooyoung chuckled and hugged him before turning to greet his friend.

“Hey, you must be Yeosang? Joong told me a lot about you,” Wooyoung smiled warmly at him, watching as Yeosang’s cheeks heated up.

“Yeah, that’s me," he said with a shy smile. “I hear a lot about you too.”

Wooyoung’s eyes smiled before his lips did. Yeosang looked to the floor as he blushed further. 

“Hopefully good things.” Wooyoung laughed as Joong nodded his head.

He waved his hand at the pair. “Let’s get you some drinks.”

Wooyoung turned on his heel and pushed through the crowd with ease, Joong and Yeosang following closely behind him.

As they walked through the house, Joong took in just how many people were there. Probably more than his entire year at school. And so many gorgeous boys. He took notice of the heads that turned to watch him as they passed by, and felt his ears heat up slightly as he avoided their eyes.

He suddenly felt shy, shrinking down in his own body, and not wanting the attention from the strangers around them. He wanted to find a nice boy to spend the evening with, really he did, but he just couldn’t get his mind off-

“Seonghwa.”

Joong almost nodded sadly before he realised it wasn’t his brain talking. His head shot up.

“Is that-”

He froze.

“Oh my god Joong, that’s Seonghwa,” Yeosang repeated, turning from where both their eyes were trained to look at him, wide-eyed.

He was stood, leaning against the wall with a few other boys he didn’t recognize but were equally as intimidating. He had a drink in his hand, smooth black hair pushed back out of his eyes and down the sides of his perfect, gorgeous face. Joong hadn’t seen him since he graduated 7 months back, but he was still as stunning as ever. Even more so.

“Joong, quit staring.” Yeosang gave his arm a tug quietly, but his shoes were suddenly made of concrete.

Seonghwa was at the party. The party he was at. They were both at the party. The same one.

Seonghwa was at the same New Year’s Eve party as him. And Seonghwa was-

Seonghwa was staring back at him.

Joong ripped his eyes away the second he realised what had just happened. He stopped in the middle of the hallway to stare at him, stared for an unnecessarily long amount of time, continued to stare at him even after Seonghwa met his eyes.

His heart was in his throat, jaw hanging open as turned to Yeosang for any kind of support, but he just looked back at him with a raised eyebrow and… a grin?

“This is absolutely not funny Yeosang I need to get out of here right now,” Joong rushed, grabbed Yeosang’s arm and pulled him to where Wooyoung was chatting with someone else he didn’t recognize.

Yeosang just giggled some more and allowed himself to be pulled along.

“Hey Wooyoung, where’s the kitchen?” Joong interrupted his conversation without acknowledging the other boy.

He smiled. “Ready for a drink?”

Joong nodded and waited for Wooyoung to wave goodbye to his friend before following him further into the busy house. They turned a sharp corner and ended up in an uncomfortably well-lit kitchen. Bottles and cans littered every surface in the room, although most of them looked empty.

“What do you prefer, boys?” Wooyoung leaned against the counter as they looked around. “Anything particular?”

Yeosang just shrugged, but Joong spoke up. “You have shot glasses?”

He laughed. “Slow down, Joongie. If you get alcohol poisoning your mother will tear me to pieces. We can do some shots later, you wanna start with some vodka and lemonade?”

Joong huffed. “Fine. That’ll do, I guess,” he mumbled. ‘But make it stronger.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure the lemonade is already spiked,” he said with a chuckle, stretching to pull a bottle of vodka out from a top shelf. “Look, this is where Hwa keeps the good stuff.”

Wooyoung cracked the cabinet more to show them the nearly full bottles that lined the shelf, but Joong wasn’t paying attention.

“What did you...,” he nearly whispered. “Did you say Hwa?”

Wooyoung turned to look at him, eyebrows furrowing in confusion at Joong’s paled face.

“Yeah, Park Seonghwa. He’s a friend from high school. This is his house,” Wooyoung clarified casually as he filled two plastic cups with the bottle. “You’ve probably seen him around.”

“Yeah Joong, don’t you know him?” Yeosang teased, but ducked his head immediately as Joong shot bullets with his eyes.

Wooyoung watched the exchange between the two as he filled the rest of each cup with lemonade. “What am I missing?” he asked hesitantly.

Joong shook his head quickly. “Nothing, Wooyoung. Just didn’t know you guys were… uh, friends.” He stammered out the last bit, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that they were in Seonghwa’s house.

Wooyoung shrugged, handing them the two cups and picking up his own from the counter. He raised it towards them, and they clinked their cheap plastic cups together with a laugh. Joong drank half his cup in the first gulp, surprised at how smoothly it went down. He didn’t take Wooyoung to be a good mixer, but the boy had proved him wrong.

They stayed in the kitchen for a bit, sipping from their cups and chatting as they waited for the alcohol to kick in. Joong went through another cup and a half before Wooyoung finally suggested they do shots.

He pulled plastic neon shot glasses out of nowhere and filled them up for Joong, Yeosang, and the other people coincidentally in the kitchen with them. Once everyone had one, someone hollered “to 2020!” and the room cheered. Joong tipped his head back and screwed his eyes shut as the liquor burned down his throat, holding back a cough.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw Wooyoung pushing a slice of lime into Yeosang’s mouth. The younger sucked on it, a tear slipping down his cheek but a grin on his face. Joong remembered he had probably never been to a party like this, and suddenly felt a little guilty for not checking that he was okay.

Wooyoung gently wiped the tear from his face and rubbed his forearm affectionately, leaning forward to whisper something to him. When he stepped back, Yeosang nodded to him with an assured smile. Wooyoung then turned to Joong.

“Watch out for your friend, Joongie. I can tell he’s new to this,” Wooyoung whispered by his ear, his tone more serious than usual. “If either of you need anything, I’ll be around somewhere. Don’t go anywhere or with anyone without letting me know.”

Joong nodded to him obediently as the older boy gave him a wave and left the kitchen. When he turned back to Yeosang, he looked stunned.

“Sangie I’m sorry, I should’ve made sure you were-”

“I love Wooyoungie,” Yeosang cut him off.

“You what?” Joong asked, watching as he stared through the archway Wooyoung had just disappeared through.

“Wooyoungie is so nice, and sooo pretty,” he crooned. “Want him to be my New Year’s kiss, Joongie.” His words melted together as he smiled foolishly, grabbing the counter behind him to steady himself.

“Oh my god, Yeosang, I can’t believe I let you do that shot.” Joong groaned as he rambled on about Wooyoung.

Joong wanted to tell him that Wooyoung had had a boyfriend for a couple months that he never shut up about. It was always “San and I did this” and “yesterday Sannie said that” and “tomorrow me and Sannie are gonna”. He also wanted to tell him that San didn’t sound like the type Yeosang wanted to mess with, but as he listened to the boy mumble on about Wooyoung and his kind eyes, and warm hands, and pretty smile, he couldn’t bring himself to. He had two options.

He sighed and opted for the second one.

“He’s pretty great, yeah,” he cut him off so he could change the subject. “Anyways, you wanna go dance, Sang?”

Yeosang’s ears perked at that, and he stood straight immediately with excitement, discarding his lime slice on the counter. The sudden movement made him dizzy, however, and Joong stuck out his arm just as he reached for it, linking their elbows and heading back out to the main room. Only when they started walking did Joong realize how much his vision swam as well, but he could feel his nerves calming down as the alcohol took effect. He pushed Seonghwa to the back of his mind as he and Yeosang melted into the crowd to dance.

They spent more than an hour just casually dancing. Joong greeted a few people he recognized, and they chatted, or rather yelled in each other’s ears over the blasting music. Yeosang’s head cleared a little and his movements were more fluid, the natural-born dancer in him catching eyes. He wasn’t a bad dancer himself, but Yeosang was unmatched.

He felt himself being watched too, but instead of cowering, he stood straighter, enjoying the attention. He knew he looked good, and he trusted it would get him want he wanted. He just needed to act like it, too.

Joong had almost completely forgotten about the unexpected party host until he noticed a crowd forming on the other side of the room. Joong and Yeosang squeezed their way towards the center of it, hearing hoots and cheers from the circle of guests. When they reached the front, Joong found a ping pong table being set up with plastic cups of beer.

He looked back to Yeosang, his wide eyes staring back at him, and they both simultaneously agreed to turn and push their way back out. But before Joong could find a break in the circle, he heard someone call his name.

“Joongie!”

Joong turned back to the table. Directly across it, he could see Wooyoung waving at him, smiling widely. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was messy and pushed back off his forehead. Joong wondered if San was around somewhere.

“You wanna play?” Wooyoung called across the circle. Joong shook his head immediately.

They couldn’t play. He’d only done it a few times at small parties, and he didn’t know if Yeosang ever had. These guys were professionals. They would lose so badly, and it was too much beer for them to drink.

He turned to Yeosang to lead him away, but the boy grabbed his arm. He was staring across the table, and Joong followed his gaze to find a smiling, nodding Wooyoung. Oh no.

“No, Yeosang,” he tried to shut him down. “No, we can’t play you’ve never even-”

“I want to, Joongie,” he interrupted him, his eyes not leaving Wooyoung’s. “Wooyoungie wants us to.”

“Yeosang I swear to God you can’t fall in love with-”

But Yeosang was already walking around to the front of the table, leaving Joong talking to himself.

“…Wooyoung,” he groaned, throwing his head back in frustration. There was no winning this.

He rubbed his temples in preparation for the copious amounts of cheap, canned beer he knew he was about to consume and turned to follow his friend, Wooyoung meeting them there as well. He felt hands pat him on the shoulder and back as he walked by, cheers erupting from the mass of drunk college students. He couldn’t understand why they were so excited, they must get bored of the dumb game after playing it night after night.

“Yeosangie, you’re braver than I thought!” Wooyoung exclaimed warmly as they reached him, putting a hand on his fluffy head.

Joong watched the color rise in the boy’s cheeks as he looked up at Wooyoung like he was God reincarnated. Joong wanted to smack Wooyoung, but he knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose. He was too charming for his own good.

Wooyoung smiled at Joong as he put his other hand on his shoulder, pinching the juncture of his neck lightly.

“You know the rules?” Wooyoung asked, and Joong nodded silently.

“Loosen up Joongie, it’ll be fun,” he assured him. “And you, Yeosangie, try your best! If you don’t want to drink any more, just wave to me. I’m sure your competition will be too drunk to get any anyways.’

Wooyoung continued to fawn over them, Yeosang soaking up every word of it, until the crowd around them started to cheer again. They were all focused on something behind their backs. Wooyoung quieted.

His hands dropped from their shoulders. “I spoke too soon.”

Wooyoung was already making his way to the other side when Joong turned around. Two boys had stepped out of the crowd and up to the table. One face, he didn’t recognize, but the other he knew all too well.

It was none other than the boy he wanted to avoid most in the entire room. Just his luck.

Joong kept his eyes low as he scanned for any gap to escape through, but the crowd was tight. He wanted to run, to run out the door and down the street and never look back. There was no way he could play Seonghwa in beer pong and not melt into the floorboards. This was a nightmare and Joong didn’t know how to wake up.

To make matters worse, both boys watched as Wooyoung went up to Seonghwa’s, especially intimidating, partner and whispered into his ear. The boy’s wavy charcoal hair draped over his eyes and covered his gaze, but he could feel his stare burning holes into his chest. Yeosang reached for Joong’s wrist instinctually, taking a half step behind him and leaving him to face the older boys. The grip on his wrist tightened when the frightening man wrapped an arm around Wooyoung’s waist, and nearly cut off his circulation when Wooyoung returned the gesture by meeting his waiting lips for an extremely 18+ kiss.

So _that_ was San.

Yeosang’s mouth hung open as he watched the scene in front of them. Frankly, even Joong was shocked at the physical appearance of the man Wooyoung was so infatuated with and talked so fondly of. Joong tugged gently on Yeosang’s sleeve to pull his attention back, feeling a pain in his heart at the way he turned to look at him, lip trembling and eyes shiny. He looked utterly devastated. Joong knew he’d be over it, and not to mention absolutely humiliated, when he woke up the next morning, but he still felt a little guilty about not telling him earlier. He wanted to wrap the poor pouting boy in a blanket and take him home.

But there was no going back now. Joong took a deep breath as he looked at their opponents again. Seonghwa was watching him with an unwavering gaze, and Joong could only hold it for a moment before his eyes dropped down to the table and around to San and Wooyoung. Somehow, with Wooyoung next to him, San looked even more terrifying. His hand gripped Wooyoung’s side as he twisted and played with the fabric that bunched there, his fingers ghosting over the exposed skin. Joong stared, and San stared back. Joong wanted to disintegrate and blow away in the wind.

He wasn’t sure how long the silent stare-off lasted (less than a minute, but it felt like years), but suddenly he was aware of the people around him, waiting for them to start playing. Wooyoung separated himself from San, shushing his objection, and approached Yeosang, who still looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“Hey, you alright Sangie? You don’t have to play if you don’t want to,” Wooyoung comforted him, oblivious to the cause of his sudden mood shift.

Yeosang held his gaze for a moment, seemingly contemplating, before he sniffled and shook his head.

“We’ll play,” he said, turning to Joong.

Wooyoung patted his shoulder reassuringly with a grin, not noticing how Yeosang stiffened under it, looking straight into Joong’s eyes. He smiled sympathetically, squeezing his left hand with his own.

Wooyoung disappeared for a moment and returned with a ping pong ball in his hand, holding it out to Joong.

“They wanted you to go first.”

Joong glanced quickly at Seonghwa, who was still watching him attentively, unwavering. He let go of Yeosang’s hand to take the ball from Wooyoung. The quicker they played, the quicker the game would be over, and the quicker he could escape Seonghwa’s unsettling eyes.

So they began.

Joong missed his first shot. And then his second, and his third, but he was getting a little closer each time. Finally, on his fourth turn, the ball splashed into a cup. The crowd cheered, thankful they didn’t have to watch him miss again, and Wooyoung gave him an energetic thumbs up from behind San and Seonghwa.

It took him another three tries to get another, Yeosang also getting his first in. Meanwhile, Seonghwa hit every cup easily, and San only missed one. For every cup they drank, Joong and Yeosang had three. Yeosang was getting worse with every cup he drank, and Joong wasn’t doing much better. He tried to focus on Seonghwa’s technique, (instead of the way his bicep flexed with each perfectly aimed throw), but it was no use. They were done for.

After Yeosang drank the next cup San’s ball effortlessly sailed into, Joong positioned his arm like he’d watched Seonghwa do. Maybe, with some miracle, the ball would go in this time. He wiggled his wrist once, practicing the motion, before taking a deep breath and tossing it.

It hit the rim of one of the cups, causing both Joong and Yeosang to gasp, before it bounced out and rolled onto the floor. They sighed simultaneously.

Seonghwa leaned down to pick it up, spinning it around in his fingers. Joong watched silently, his stomach already twisting at the thought of drinking another cup of the nasty beer. He closed his heavy eyelids and rubbed his temples as he waited for the sound of the ping pong ball splashing into liquid.

But instead, Joong heard a bounce, and then another bounce, and then it hit the floor. The crowd was silent. He opened his eyes in disbelief, only to find Yeosang grabbing the ball before it rolled away. He looked up across the table, his eyebrows furrowing subconsciously, and saw Seonghwa still staring directly at him. San, however, shared Joong’s confused expression, and turned to his partner to whisper something. Wooyoung, from behind San, gave Joong a shrug, and then smiled, urging him to play his turn.

Joong was confused. How had Seonghwa missed?

When Yeosang returned to his side with the retrieved ball, he slid it into Joong’s hand with a quick whisper by his ear.

“He did it on purpose.”

Joong didn’t get it. But before he could ask a question, Yeosang retreated, allowing Joong to have his go. He looked up this time to find not only Seonghwa, but also San staring intensely back at him. He focused on the cups in front of them, only two of the ten missing, and aimed. To his shock, the ball landed in the last row, the hardest shot.

The crowd cheered, Yeosang’s jaw dropped in awe, and even Wooyoung wiggled around happily before San turned around and he froze. Joong smiled at Yeosang, who was grabbing and shaking his shoulders, before he turned back to sneak a glance at Seonghwa. He watched as he picked up the cup and fished the ball out of it before he raised it to his lips, eyes locked with his as he downed it in one go. When he finished, he held it upside down to prove it before turning to hand the empty cup to Wooyoung, rolling the sticky ball between his slender fingers. He looked at San, words floating silently between them, before he looked back at their four remaining cups, and finally back up to Joong.

Their eyes locked again, and Joong felt different, but still incredibly small under his fierce gaze.

He felt like Seonghwa was seeing straight through him, reading him, analyzing him. His cheeks flushed at the thought of Seonghwa finding out about his silly school crush turned years-long adoration. At that, Seonghwa’s face flickered with a hint of emotion, the faintest raise of an eyebrow. Was he reading his mind? Joong was genuinely considering it.

Heart racing, but too absorbed to look away, Joong watched as Seonghwa, without even looking at the table, tossed his ball in the general direction. It bounced once, twice, and then off the table. Again, the crowd was shocked into silence, hushed voices floating among them. Joong was frozen in place, bewildered, and it was San who broke their gaze with a sharp slap against Seonghwa’s bicep.

“What is he doing?” Yeosang whispered from behind him.

Joong wish he knew. “I… I don’t know.”

San and Seonghwa bickered for a moment, or more San bickered with Seonghwa and Seonghwa listened silently, before he huffed and turned back to the table.

“Go,” San nearly snarled at Yeosang. “It’s your turn.”

Yeosang hurriedly went and missed. San picked up the ball immediately and shot, hitting his intended cup dead on. Yeosang drank. Then Joong shot and missed. Before Seonghwa could pick up the ball, San had snatched it from the table and thrown again, making another. Joong drank. Seonghwa did not object to San’s altered rules, and the cycle continued until their last two cups were empty, the game lost.

Even with the unusual ending to the strangest beer pong game ever, the crowd cheered like every other night. Seonghwa and San got high-fives and chants, the reigning champions, and Joong and Yeosang received pats and hair ruffles for facing them. Wooyoung even snuck away from San’s side to come coddle the two boys.

“Good job Joongie, Yeosangie!’ Wooyoung cheered as he squeezed them together, both boys groaning but giggling.

“You did so well! You had tough competition,” Wooyoung said as he rubbed their shoulders comfortingly. “I’m sorry about Sannie, too. Sometimes he gets a little too invested in the game.”

He paused to lean a little closer and cup around his lips. “Secretly, I was cheering for you guys.”

Yeosang’s smile faltered a bit at the mention of San, but he pushed it away and leaned into Wooyoung’s touch. Wooyoung smiled and stroked his head, making Yeosang’s cheeks heat up even more.

When people noticed that the boys were friends of Wooyoung, the praises doubled. Joong, glowing pink from the attention and the alcohol, nearly forgot about who he had just completely embarrassed himself in front of. Nearly.

When the DJ started up again and the crowd began to dissipate, Joong spotted Seonghwa still standing with San and another boy he didn’t know. He wondered for a second if maybe Seonghwa would say something to them, tell them they did well, that he did well. Maybe he’d explain why he purposely missed two shots while staring Joong down.

But moments before Seonghwa looked up, Joong was pulled by his arm towards the kitchen. He tried to resist, wanted to wait and see, but Yeosang was not giving up, and so he turned and gave in. Seonghwa’s eyes followed Joong’s slender back before it disappeared through the door frame of the kitchen.

“I can’t believe we did that!” Yeosang exclaimed as he leaned against the side of the counter, dropping Joong’s arm.

Wooyoung grinned, digging around in the fridge before pulling out two bottles of water for them. Joong sighed in relief.

“Thanks, Wooyoung,” he said as he handed him and Yeosang the bottles, trying to tame his racing heart.

“Can you believe it Joong? We just played beer pong with college freshmen. And not just any college freshmen.” Yeosang wiggled his eyebrows with a grin.

He continued to ignore him, focusing on drinking the water slowly and wishing the heat in his cheeks away.

“You’re pretty enthusiastic for someone who just lost a beer pong game, Sangie,” Wooyoung commented, giggling as his smile only got wider. “Do you know Seonghwa and San? I forgot to introduce you guys.”

“I guessed who San was,” he said, a little quieter, “but Seonghwa, you could say Joong and him are… acquainted.”

Yeosang yelped as he dodged Joong’s outstretched arm, laughing as he hopped around the two boys. Wooyoung raised an eyebrow.

“Acquainted? I thought you didn’t know him, Joongie,” Wooyoung probed, mischief glinting in his eyes.

Before he could even say anything, words began tumbling out of Yeosang’s mouth.

“Joongie has had a crush on him for ages! Ever since freshman ye-”

Wooyoung laughed as Joong clamped a hand over his mouth, but he kept mumbling through his fingers. “Joongie won’t…. won’t talk to him. He’s too… scared!”

Yeosang twisted out of his grasp and danced around the kitchen, dodging him as he continued to spill secrets.

“When he graduated Joongie was sooooo sad and I had to listen to him moan and groan about it every day! So I told him to just talk to him but he wouldn’t do it because Seonghwa is really scary but now it’s New Year’s and what does Joongie want most?”

He paused to let Joong answer his question. He’d given up chasing him and had returned to Wooyoung’s side, head hung low. Wooyoung was laughing with Yeosang, but he wrapped an arm around him comfortingly, empathetically.

“A New Year’s kiss,” Joong mumbled.

“That’s right! And who better for the job?” Yeosang cheered as he pranced back to them.

Joong had gone silent. He kept his eyes on the floor, avoiding his gaze. As Yeosang waited for his response, he tilted his head with a giggle, but instead of a playful smack like he was expecting, he was met with a trembling lip and watery eyes.

“You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone,” Joong whined pitifully at his friend, feeling his eyes glisten involuntarily.

Yeosang quieted immediately, guilt sneaking up into his stomach when he realized. Wooyoung noticed and gently pulled Joong into his arms, a hand smoothing the back of his head, but it only made the tears fall quicker. He knew it was the alcohol in his system, but Joong couldn’t imagine anything worse than Wooyoung knowing about his little, or slightly massive, crush on one of his schoolmates. He wanted to dig a hole in the backyard and bury himself in it.

“Oh Joongie, baby, it’s okay,” Wooyoung soothed as Joong buried his head as far as it could go. “It’s just a crush, there’s no harm in that.”

“But it’s embarrassing,’ Joong whined. “I hate that I can’t talk to him, but maybe it’s better like that. He’d never like me anyway.”

“You won’t know until you try.” Wooyoung smiled as Joong pulled his head back.

This was not a game. This was Joong’s entire life ruined if he found out.

“Tell Seonghwa and you won’t leave this house alive, Wooyoung,” Joong threatened, but the older boy just laughed.

“I won’t tell him, but this is a pretty good opportunity to shoot your shot, Joongie,” Wooyoung offered, but Joong was already shaking his head.

“He doesn’t want anything to do with me. He made that pretty clear tonight.”

“Joongie he literally missed two shots, deliberately, so you wouldn’t have to drink them,” Yeosang spoke up, and Wooyoung nodded in agreement.

“He didn’t…. he wasn’t trying to….,” Joong fumbled, trying to come up with an explanation. “He was just messing with us.”

“I’ve never seen him do anything like that before,” Wooyoung added, and Joong’s heart skipped.

“We all saw how he was staring at you too, Joongie,” Yeosang teased, dancing around the room again. “Joongie’s getting a New Year’s kiss! Joongie’s getting a New Year’s kiss!!!”

Joong couldn’t stop the laugh that burst out as he watched him bounce around. Wooyoung kept an arm around him as he smiled playfully. He sniffled and wiped at his cheeks.

“Maybe I’ll try to… talk,” Joong said slowly, “to… you know… him.”

Yeosang and Wooyoung cheered so loudly that Joong was startled. He shushed them quickly before he giggled along with them.

“You can’t talk to him though! I swear, Wooyoungie!” Joong said and Wooyoung held up his hands.

“I promise I won’t tell Seonghwa,” Wooyoung swore, sticking his pinkie finger in the air, and Joong finally cracked a smile.

“Let’s do shots!” Yeosang hollered suddenly, and both boys turned to look at him with a laugh.

“You just drank at least 3 cans of beer, I think you’re okay for now, Sangie.” Wooyoung patted his shoulder as Yeosang stuck his lip out.

“Let’s go see what’s happening out there,” Wooyoung offered instead, and Yeosang nodded, forgetting about why he was pouting.

Yeosang led the way as Wooyoung and Joong followed him out of the kitchen and back into the main room. The beer table had been cleared and moved away somewhere, and the crowd had turned the empty space into a dance floor. Joong immediately felt his spirits lift, because he was never good at talking, but he could dance.

Wooyoung wandered off as Joong and Yeosang found space in the middle of the crowd. They had always loved dancing together, it was one of the things they had in common when they met.

Yeosang was an aspiring performer and part of a prestigious dance academy, where he spent most of his time outside of school. Joong just found peace in it, dancing in his room at home or tagging along to the practice room and learning whatever choreography Yeosang was practicing. It was a big part of their friendship, and what kept them so close.

He was pleasantly surprised by the music taste of whoever was DJing, and every song was one he knew and liked. They danced together, sometimes just moving along to the music, and sometimes matching each other’s pace. He let himself enjoy the atmosphere, closing his eyes and forgetting about the people around them. He was just dancing with Yeosang, like they always did, letting his body follow the song.

Not long after did Joong start to sense another body near him. When he opened his eyes, he saw a tall, very tall, boy with dyed blond hair looking back at him. He was following his moves surprisingly well, and he smiled faintly, unnoticeable in the dark room.

He was handsome. Joong was drawn by the way he matched his pace so easily, and he guessed he was also a dancer. His face was gentle, features blurry in the low light but accentuated, and he could see dark, warm eyes. He felt comfortable, and oddly safe, considering they’d just met, and he didn’t even know his name. He took a step closer, testing the waters, and the boy followed suit. His head barely reached the boy’s chin, but looking up at him just made his heartbeat quicken.

One more step and Joong was breathing in the boy’s cologne, subtle but still captivating. Their bodies were inches apart, close enough that he could rest a hand on his chest. His heart raced, and he felt nervous, but he also felt confident. This was as good a chance as he could hope for. He took a deep breath and looked up to meet the boy’s gaze, looking for anything in them that he should be afraid of, but only found clear, focused eyes looking back at him. Focused, almost questioning, like he was asking something. asking for permission. So Joong gave it.

At the faintest hint of a nod, Joong felt a huge, warm palm settle gently on the curve of his hip, fingers wrapping around half of his slim torso. The warmth spread through him, soothing the twists in his stomach as his muscles relaxed and he smiled up at the boy. He returned the smile, his other hand gesturing to his chest. Joong watched him with confusion until he felt fingers around his wrist, guiding it up to rest on the boy’s chest. He took some of the soft fabric between his fingers, allowing his hand to roam in a slow circle before he moved it upwards to his shoulder. The boy watched him attentively the whole time, and when he reached up, the hand on his hip tugged him slightly closer, allowing Joong’s hand to rest comfortably on the junction of his neck and shoulder.

He felt his skin heating up at the shrinking distance between them, and for a moment he wondered if he was doing the right thing. Maybe he should’ve stayed home with his parents, or with Yeosang, and watched a movie like they always did. But when he turned his head in search of his friend, he almost gasped in surprise.

Yeosang had found an, also extremely tall, boy of his own. It seemed his dancing skills were attractive, and the boy held Yeosang almost flush against his own body as they moved smoothly to the song. Yeosang’s head was hidden in his chest and one hand was twisted into his fiery red hair. Joong couldn’t believe his eyes. To think he was starting to feel guilty for dragging him here.

Joong looked back to the boy in front of, or rather above him. He met his eyes, and Joong just smiled. He was sure of what he wanted now. He slid his fingers slowly into his hair, playing with the strands at the base of his neck. The hand on his waist tightened.

The boy leaned down towards his ear. Joong held his breath.

“You’re very pretty, you know,” he said softly, warm breath fanning across his skin.

Joong’s cheeks glowed. He looked up after the boy lifted his head again, eyes meeting glittering eyes. He stood on his tip toes to try and reach his ear.

“Thank you,” he lulled sweetly, earning a smile.

When he dropped back onto his heels, he let his hand smooth down the boy’s shoulder, tracing his collarbone and the neckline of his top lightly. The boy watched him intently, his fingers bunching up the material of his top around his stomach. When a gust of air hit Joong’s newly exposed skin, he sucked in a breath and tightened his grip on the boy’s top. The breeze was followed immediately by a warm thumb, ghosting across his hip bone and stomach. Joong leaned into the touch, eyes closing as he allowed his forehead to rest gently against his chest. The boy hummed in approval. Joong’s other hand came up to his chest as well, and he felt the grip of a second hand on the other side of his waist, caging him in. He felt warm, and content, and hopeful.

Maybe he was, finally, finally, going to get his New Year’s kiss.

They continued to dance leisurely, lazily, just matching each other’s rhythm. At some point, the taller boy began to mouth gently at Joong’s temple, and then down to his ear. He all but purred

into his chest, feeling the rumble of his chuckle as he tilted his head as high as it could go. The affection sent ripples of electricity through his body. Combined with the thumb massaging gentle circles into the bare skin of his waist, he had long lost the ability of speech. It was almost euphoric.

Until the thumb stopped, and the hands around him loosened and fell from his side, and then the boy slowed completely. Joong whined in complaint, but swallowed it halfway as he opened his eyes to see why he had stopped. He lifted his head from his chest and dropped his hand from his neck, expecting to find his waiting gaze, but when he looked up, the boy’s eyes didn’t meet his. They were focused on something behind him.

Joong turned around slowly.

He was met with a broad chest. A black, silky top, only half buttoned, hung over it elegantly, and his exposed, slightly tanned skin was accentuated by the sheer material. His collarbones peeked out, perfectly defined and sharp.

Joong’s eyes trailed upwards, stomach twisting into knots.

His jaw was clenched and tense, his full lips showed no trace of a smile. His sleek hair matched the color of his top, brushed back to fall at the sides of his forehead effortlessly. His eyes were dark, fierce, and unwavering.

They stared directly over him. Joong was shocked into silence. His brain was short-circuiting.

“Yunho,” he said finally, addressing the taller boy.

“Seonghwa.”

At that, Joong realized where he was and what was happening. Eyes wide, he stumbled backwards away from Seonghwa, only to run into the boy, Yunho’s, chest. His hand immediately came up around his side to steady him, an act of comfort that now only made Joong tremble in front of Seonghwa. He felt like a deer in headlights.

Seonghwa’s eyes watched every move. Joong’s immediate retreat, Yunho’s straightened posture. Joong’s slightly gaping jaw. The subtle initiation of body contact, a telling signal of possession.

Yunho was not backing down easily.

Seonghwa cleared his throat, still not acknowledging Joong’s presence.

“Wooyoung was looking for you.”

Yunho cocked an eyebrow. “Was he?”

Seonghwa said nothing, but Yunho held his ground.

“He can come find me, then, Seonghwa.”

So Yunho knew Wooyoung. And Seonghwa. Joong’s luck just got better and better.

As his brain processed what was happening, Joong held his tongue and listened silently. The initial shock was wearing off, and he was growing more confused.

“I think he might need help. You should probably go look for him,” Seonghwa pushed, his expression unreadable.

“He’s San’s boyfriend. Go ask him,” Yunho countered.

Seonghwa’s facade faltered for a moment, frustration flashing across his face. Yunho stood tall, his hand still firmly placed on his waist. Joong placed one hand gently on top of it, and Yunho’s lips curved slightly without ever breaking Seonghwa’s gaze.

“San is _busy_ , Yunho,” Seonghwa spit out. “What will you do if Wooyoung gets hurt and you didn’t do anything to help him?”

“Wooyoung is-”

“Yunho,” he spoke lowly, like a growl.

His sudden tone made Joong flinch against Yunho’s front, and he squeezed his side comfortingly. Joong glanced upwards, meeting his soft, apologetic gaze, and felt him sigh. He frowned as Yunho’s hand again fell away from his skin.

“Fine, Seonghwa,’ Yunho replied evenly, enunciating each word like he was speaking to a child. Seonghwa gritted his teeth but didn’t say anything.

He stepped back, letting go of his waist. “I will go look for Wooyoung.”

As Yunho walked off, Seonghwa’s eyes followed him until he disappeared from view. When he turned back, his eyes finally locked with Joong’s for the first time. He shivered.

His back was cold. He was speechless, slightly terrified, and lost for words. But his emotions were all over the place.

Seonghwa broke the silence.

“Are you okay?”

That was it. The first words Seonghwa had ever said to him. After three long years of dreaming about how this conversation would go, that was how he least expected it.

Joong just stared at him. Was he okay? Why would he not be okay? He was completely safe, happy, and comfortable with Yunho. He was finally having fun after completely embarrassing himself and confirming the fact that Seonghwa had absolutely zero interest in him, and as consolation, he’d just scared off his actually possible New Year’s kiss. The terror in his body was quickly being replaced with frustration.

Seonghwa waited for an answer, his features had softened but he still showed no sign of emotion. Joong’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Why did you do that?” he said abruptly.

Confusion flashed across his face.

“What?”

“Why did you lie to make him leave like that?” Joong wasn’t stupid.

Seonghwa seemed slightly taken aback. “I- I didn’t-”

“I know Wooyoung is fine. San wouldn’t let him out of his sight,” Joong interrupted him. “Yunho was cute and I was having fun. So why?”

He didn’t know where the sudden confidence was coming, but he was going to run with it.

Seonghwa stared at him wordlessly for a moment. Joong thought he saw a flash of hurt in his eyes, and he was suddenly reminded of all the years he’d spent hopelessly in love with the boy in front of him. His superficial wall was crumbling.

“Because I…,” Seonghwa started.

But mid-sentence, Joong watched as whatever he thought he’d seen in his expression turned cold again, and he clenched his jaw.

“Because you’re too drunk to know what you’re doing.”

Ouch. That hurt.

Whatever was left of Joong’s false confidence disappeared, and he felt the familiar flush of embarrassment in his cheeks and his throat tightening. No matter what he did, he couldn’t escape Seonghwa’s cold, judgmental eye, like he was someone’s younger brother tagging along, causing disruption and disturbance.

Afraid that if he opened his mouth, his voice would crack, Joong gave Seonghwa one last teary look before he turned on his heel and ran for the back door. It was childish, but Joong couldn’t face him any longer. He needed some air.

Seonghwa watched him, let him leave. As he slipped through the door, Seonghwa sighed heavily, mind reeling at the encounter. With one hand carding harshly through his hair, he turned away and went to search for someone.

On the deck, Joong walked to the railing and leaned against it. He let the tears fall, hot against his cheeks in the winter cold, and sniffled as he looked out at the cloudy sky. He allowed himself a couple of minutes to mope, not wanting to accept that his crush was confirmed to be one-sided, and better yet looked down on him. The thought made him tear up all over again.

The sound of the back door sliding open again made him quickly wipe the remaining tears of his face and try to mask his emotion. Before he could turn around to see who had joined him, a warm hand wrapped around his side gently.

“Yunho,” he said with a teary smile, and heard him hum in response.

“Hey.”

His voice was smooth and comforting in the otherwise silence of the balcony, and Joong let his head fall backwards to rest on his chest once more, closing his eyes for a moment.

Nearly as soon as he closed them, he opened them again, turning around to lean against the railing and face him. His eyes sparkled even more in the dim light of streetlamps.

“I’m Joong,” he said, realizing Yunho probably didn’t know his name.

“I know,” he replied, “I’m Yunho.”

“I know,” Joong giggled, and Yunho smiled. “But how did you know my name?”

“I’m a friend of Wooyoung. Any friend of Wooyoung knows you,” Yunho answered. “I guessed who you were after the beer pong game.”

The beer pong game. Joong let his head fall back with a groan. Yunho chuckled.

“You know Seonghwa?” Yunho asked, and Joong nodded.

“We went to high school together, and I may have had a huge crush on him for years. I could not have embarrassed myself any more than I did there,” Joong sighed.

It felt good to tell someone about it, to say it so casually. Yunho didn’t even look surprised.

He shook his head. “You were obviously new to it. They were assholes for playing against you, and San was an extra asshole for playing so harshly.”

Joong stayed quiet, and Yunho just shrugged.

“But Seonghwa is just Seonghwa. That’s how he is,” he continued, and Joong sighed.

They were silent for a moment.

“He seems pretty set on you,” Yunho said casually, but Joong yanked his head up, nearly choking on a breath.

“Set on me?” he repeated, coughing. “Set on hating me, you mean.”

Yunho looked confused, and Joong scoffed.

“It’s the opposite. He’s never spoken to me, but stares at me like I’m not meant to be here, like I’m disturbing him. He always appears when I’m having an actual good time and takes it away from me,” Joong huffed, but inside it hurt him to say it out loud.

He just stared at him, head tilted like a puppy.

“Okay, maybe I’m reading it wrong,” he started, “but it seems like he keeps an eye on you at all times. He missed shots in beer pong so you would have another chance, and he ran me off because I was getting too close for comfort. Whether it be for safety or for something else, it definitely meant something, Joong.”

He was silent as he processed his words. There was no way. No, Yunho didn’t get it. He didn’t know the whole story. He was wrong.

Joong was trying to form a sentence in response when he heard the door open and a voice calling to them.

“Joongie! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

Wooyoung slammed the door shut behind him as he nearly tackled Joong with a hug. He smiled and returned the hug, but when Wooyoung pulled back, he looked serious.

“Are you okay? Why are you out here? What’s Yunho doing here?” Wooyoung questioned him, turning to Yunho with a frown. Joong couldn’t help but laugh at how much he sounded like his mom.

“I’m fine, Wooyoungie,” Joong assured him. “I was just getting some air, and Yunho came out to join me.”

Yunho held his hands up in defense with a grin. “Swear we’re just talking, Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung eyed him before he turned back to Joong, voice lowered. “Does he know?”

He nodded silently.

His eyes softened. “What happened, Joongie?” Wooyoung asked tenderly.

“I was just dancing with Yeosang, and then Yunho came over to us. He was a good dancer, and he felt safe, and so I let him. Yeosang found some guy too,” Joong said, glancing at Yunho for a second with a small smile, and he returned it supportively.

“We just danced, nothing past that, and nothing too wild. I was having a good time, and then Seonghwa came over and made Yunho leave. He said you needed help.”

Wooyoung scoffed.

“We knew you didn’t, but he was so harsh, so Yunho obeyed. Then he asked me if I was okay, and I asked him why he made him go. He said it was because I was too drunk to know what I was doing.” Joong lowered his head, his voice trailing off.

“Oh Joongie, don’t listen to him,” Wooyoung said, cupping his cheeks and forcing his head up again. Yunho looked angry.

“He treated me like a dumb kid,” Joong’s voice wavered, and he felt his lip shaking. “I ran away, out here. Then Yunho came.”

“Baby, he wasn’t trying to hurt you. He just… got some wrong information,” Wooyoung said slowly. Both boys turned to him confused.

“Are you defending him?” Yunho asked with obvious annoyance, and Wooyoung pleaded to him with his eyes.

“What, Wooyoung? What is it?” Joong prompted, and Wooyoung looked back at him, guilt evident in his face.

“Well, you see…,” Wooyoung started, “I kind of, accidentally told… San.”

Joong was starting to catch on. “Told San what?”

Wooyoung looked genuinely frightened. “I told him about your… your crush.”

Joong just stared at him.

“You did what.”

“I’m sorry Joongie! I didn’t mean to, but it just slipped out! I swear I made him promise not to tell anyone, but he thought it would be funny to tell Seonghwa and then he did, and I didn’t know I swear I didn’t know he was going to do that Joongie.”

He was rambling, and Joong was speechless, but he also hadn’t really expected any less. He knew once Wooyoung knew it wasn’t long before everyone would, although his speed tonight was impressive.

“So Seonghwa knew, when he came to us,” Joong realized slowly. “He knew I was, sort of… in love with him.”

Wooyoung nodded gently. “Yeah. He did.”

“I can never show my face in there again,” he muttered.

Wooyoung clasped his hands in his own. “I’m sorry, Joong. I swear I’m going to make San apologize to you.”

Joong just stared straight ahead. An apology wasn’t going to change anything. This night could not get any worse.

“Seonghwa came up to me a couple minutes ago very upset, saying I had lied to make him look like an asshole,” Wooyoung continued. “I had no idea what he was talking about, but then I remembered San talking to Seonghwa alone earlier and the pieces starting fitting together. It was the only explanation.”

Joong’s ears perked.

“He was upset?” he asked, looking to Wooyoung again.

He nodded. “Very. He stalked off before I could ask anything else, and I don’t know where he went.”

“I suppose I was kind of… harsh to him,” Joong said. ‘But all I could think about was that he had absolutely zero interest in me and had just scared off my chances of a New Year’s kiss.”

His eyes flitted shyly towards Yunho, and both he and Wooyoung laughed.

“I’m still available, don’t worry,” Yunho said with a chuckle, and he smiled.

“But I don’t think you’ll need me,” he continued. “Like I said earlier, I think he’s had his eye on you for a while.”

Joong just rolled his eyes. “Yeah right. Just since he found out I was into him and would probably make a good toy to mess around with and-”

“No, Joongie, I agree with him,” Wooyoung cut him off, and Joong looked back at him in confusion.

“Yunho didn’t go to high school with Seonghwa, but I did. It’s been a while,” he said.

Joong still didn’t understand. “How? He’s never even acknowledged I exist. How long is a while?”

Wooyoung thought for a second. “For like… years.”

Joong’s jaw fell open.

“What do you… what does that mean?” Joong couldn’t process it.

“When he found out that you and I were friends in junior year, he asked me about you all the time. I talked about you a lot anyways, but if I didn’t, he would always ask. It got worse after we graduated, he’d ask about you all the time,” Wooyoung answered.

Joong listened, speechless.

“Honestly, I never thought much of it until Yeosang cracked tonight in the kitchen,” he admitted. “That’s why I couldn’t hold it in, and San also knew about Seonghwa’s interest in you. I was so excited, I told him we could play matchmaker and go on double dates and picnics and bike rides together, but I guess he wasn’t a fan.”

Joong wanted to laugh, but Wooyoung looked genuinely upset. Of course San wasn’t a fan, he didn’t seem to take much of a liking to him earlier. He smiled sympathetically at his friend.

“It was low for him to tell Seonghwa though, even for San,” Wooyoung said sadly. “Sometimes he’s an asshole.”

“I’d have to agree with you there,” Yunho said. “I don’t know what he thought would happen.”

Joong listened to them silently, taking in all of the information. Seonghwa knew who he was. He’d known for years, and he’d asked about him. He’d wondered about him in university. He’d… missed him? His brain was reeling.

Suddenly, Joong remembered that he’d just snapped at him and proceeded to run away in tears directly after. He rubbed his temples in frustration, of course he’d overreacted. Seonghwa wasn’t an emotionless wall of stone, he did care. Perhaps in a strange way, but he did. And Joong had stormed off.

Wooyoung watched as Joong’s face fell in realization. He turned to Yunho, tilting his head gently towards the door, and he nodded.

“Wait here, Joongie, okay?” Wooyoung asked. “I’ll be right back.”

Joong nodded without looking up, head still bent and eyes shut in frustration. He’d screwed up the single chance he thought would never exist.

Wooyoung pulled Yunho with him towards the door, stepping through it and closing it.

Joong sighed, slightly relieved to have complete silence again. It was a nice contrast to the chaos of emotions inside his body. He let his back slide down the ice cold railing until he hit the floor, closing his eyes and breathing the chilly air into his lungs. He needed a break, just for 30 seconds, a moment to process everything. Or attempt to, at least. He couldn’t believe what Wooyoung had told him. All that time he thought he’d been wasting energy crushing on the gorgeous upper year, he knew of him. He cared about him.

A few minutes after Wooyoung had left, Joong heard the door open again. He opened his eyes and lifted his head to talk to him.

“Wooyoung are you sure-”

Joong froze. The boy in front of him was not Wooyoung.

“Hey.”

Joong scrambled clumsily to his feet as Seonghwa shut the door softly behind him. He turned back to Joong, taking a few hesitant steps towards him, before stopping a safe distance away. His clenched jaw and fierce gaze were gone, and his eyes were gentle. He twisted a ring around his finger mindlessly as he stood in the middle of the balcony, looking a lot smaller than he had earlier.

Joong had so much to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to say any of it.

“Hi,” he said finally, his voice quivering slightly.

Seonghwa’s expression softened even more when he heard the waver in his voice. If Joong didn’t know better, he’d think he looked ready to cry. The complete personality flip was giving him whiplash, his brain was running a million miles an hour, and nothing was making sense. If this was a dream, he wanted to wake up now.

“I’m sorry,” Seonghwa said gently.

Everything in his head stopped. Focused on that one word. Sorry.

Words started tumbling out of Joong’s mouth.

“I’m sorry I was rude earlier. And I’m sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends in beer pong. I’m sorry I drank too much and that I danced with your friend, I wasn’t trying to make a scene or draw any attention or make you or San or anyone upset,” Joong rushd, all of his thoughts coming together at once.

Seonghwa opened his mouth to speak, but Joong continued.

“I’m sorry I’m here, I begged my friend Wooyoung to let me come but I didn’t know you were hosting, honestly. I swear I’m not trying to follow you or anything, I didn’t even know you knew who I was until Wooyoung…”

Joong realized there was no way to avoid addressing his, now very well-known, crush.

“I’m sorry San talked to you, I shouldn’t have told Wooyoung. Well, I didn’t even tell him, actually, my friend did. I didn’t mean for it to get out, I’m sorry if it’s embarrassing for you.” Joong could feel his eyes welling up, his voice shaking more.

“I should, I should really just go. I’m sorry I-”

“Joong, wait.”

Seonghwa cut off his rambling, stopping him before he could push past and run away for the second time. He looked up at him with huge, pitiful eyes, the unshed tears sparkling like stars. Seonghwa took a few steps closer.

“You don’t have to be sorry. About anything,” Seonghwa started, voice soothing and calm.

“You didn’t embarrass me, and I’m sorry about the game, I didn’t want to make you drink so much. I didn’t even want to make you play, but San insisted. I’m sorry I scared Yunho away too, I just…,” he paused, and sighed.

“I just thought that since you, you know, you liked me, that you’d be happy I was there. But it was childish, and a dick move to both of you, and I’m sorry,” Seonghwa finished.

Joong couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth, but he looked so apologetic and guilty that he knew they were true. He hated Seonghwa saying out loud that he liked him, hated knowing he knew, but there was nothing he could do about that anymore. He stayed silent, still trying to process everything. A breeze blew through them, and he shivered slightly.

Seonghwa immediately stepped forward, closing the distance between them.

“Are you cold?” he said, already shrugging off his jacket. “Here, you can have my-”

“What are you trying to do, Seonghwa?”

Seonghwa stopped again, this time with his arms outstretched, inches away from Joong’s shoulders, ready to drape his coat over him. He returned them to his sides slowly, hesitantly, coat in hand.

Joong saw the flash of hurt in his eyes. He guessed Seonghwa had never been rejected before. He didn’t want to reject him, but this was too confusing. He couldn’t get his head around the fact that Seonghwa was apologizing and acting like he… cared about him. He should be leaving, he should be running, he should be embarrassed to know a little kid like Joong had a crush on him.

“What are you playing at? As much as I hate it, you know that I like you. that I can’t remember a time I didn’t like you. But you’ve never so much as blinked an eye in my direction until today.”

The truth hurt, but Joong knew he needed to say it. “I don’t want to be toyed with, Seonghwa. I don’t understand why you would care about me, at all. I don’t even know anything about you. You don’t know me either.”

“I want to know you,” Seonghwa rushed, like he’d been waiting to say it.

“Why? Why would you want that?” Joong pushed, preparing himself for hurt.

“You want me to be honest?” Seonghwa asked, and Joong took a deep breath before he nodded.

“I’ve always thought you were gorgeous, Joong. Since the first day of sophomore year.”

Joong choked on his own spit. He coughed, and sputtered, gasping for air. Seonghwa just watched him, mindful of his respectful distance.

Joong waited. He didn’t laugh, or pull out his phone, and none of his friends popped through the back door. This wasn’t a prank. Seonghwa had just told him he was gorgeous. Him.

His brain stuck on one word, repeating it over and over again. Always.

Joong stuttered and desperately searched for words to express his complete bewilderment.

“I never… you never acknowledged my presence.” His voice was barely above a whisper, like if he spoke too loudly Seonghwa would disintegrate and he would wake up in his bed, dreaming.

Joong felt like his head was about to explode, and as if it wasn’t enough already, he watched as Seonghwa’s lips curved upwards, slightly. It was the first time he’d ever seen him smile.

“But I did, Joong. Just not to you. To everyone but you,” he replied softly.

Joong didn’t feel the tears on his cheeks, but he watched as Seonghwa slowly, slowly reached his hand out and gently, ever so gently brushed a finger across his face, wiping the tears away. Twice as many fell in their place, however, emotion overflowing at the tenderness of his touch. Seonghwa let him cry silently, patiently.

Every nerve in Joong’s body was short-circuiting. This Seonghwa was a much better Seonghwa. This was the one he had adored for years.

“I’m sorry,” Seonghwa broke the silence. “I just didn’t know how to talk to you. I was… scared. I don’t know anyone like you.”

Joong sniffled as the crying slowed. He was sure his eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks stained with tears. And yet, Seonghwa still looked at him with the same warm, gentle smile.

“Every night, for three years,” Joong whispered, “I would wish for you to somehow, suddenly know who I was. It was all I wanted. That was when you were a sophomore, but then you were a junior, and then a senior, and then you graduated, and nothing changed. Every day was the same.”

“I know,” Seonghwa said softly. “I’m sorry.”

Joong’s throat was scratchy and sore, but he didn’t stop.

“The worst part was, I never got over it,” he admitted. “I thought it was just a dumb crush. Yeosang said I would find another boy one day and I would forget all about you. Except, that day never came. Even after you graduated, I couldn’t do it. I only ever thought of you.”

Seonghwa inhaled sharply, like he’d been punched. Joong almost apologized again, but he’d done too much of that already.

“I’m not telling you this to guilt you into liking me, or to make you feel bad. I just…,” he trailed off. “I just wanted you to know.”

“I thought you were too good for me,” Seonghwa blurted out, eyes focused on the floor.

Joong stared at him. “You… what?”

“I remember the first day I saw you, my sophomore year. You were so pretty, so confident and elegant, but more than all of that, you were so captivating. You were shy, but so bubbly and happy. I thought about trying to talk to you so many times during that first semester of sophomore year. When Wooyoung told me about his friend Joong in his math class, I put it together and realized he’d befriended you. I was jealous, but it let me find out more and more about you. How intelligent you were, that you skipped your first class ever with Wooyoung, that you had perfect grades and yet were also likable and friendly to everyone.”

Seonghwa looked up then, meeting Joong’s eyes. He was listening to every word carefully, remembering everything he told to Wooyoung. Realizing how much Seonghwa had actually known about him the entire time.

“The more I learned, the more I saw that you were too good, too warm, too bright. I didn’t deserve you. So I kept my distance, I really tried. I thought it would be easier after I graduated, but it wasn’t. I still listened to everything Wooyoung said about you, and I’m sure he got sick of me asking, but I couldn’t move on. It was only after I graduated that I realized no one would ever compare to you.”

By the time he finished talking, Seonghwa’s eyes were glassy with tears. Joong wanted to cry again just looking at him, so vulnerable and open.

“So you… and I… We…,” he tried to say, and Seonghwa just nodded with a weak smile.

Joong wanted to apologize, to thank him, to console him and to comfort him all at once, but he couldn’t find the words. So he did the next best thing.

He stood on his tippy toes and threw his arms tightly around Seonghwa’s neck. Seonghwa sucked in a surprised breath, stumbling a step backwards before regaining his balance and steadying. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around Joong’s waist, holding him as close as he could, and lifting his toes slightly off the ground. Joong’s nose was tucked into his neck, breathing in his faint cologne and feeling the soft, cool silk of his top against his cheek. He giggled softly, feeling Seonghwa chuckle against him.

“We’re so stupid,” Joong said quietly.

Seonghwa hummed in agreement. “We are.”

When he set Joong back down again, he was smiling. Now that his head was clearing slightly, he was out of breath, exhilarated, excited. Seonghwa smiled back at him, and Joong’s heart soared.

“So,” Seonghwa said, raising an eyebrow at Joong. “Have you got your New Year’s kiss yet?”

Joong giggled at him, sparks flaring up in his stomach.

“Well, fortunately for you,” he replied teasingly, “I do not.”

“That is very fortunate for me,” he smiled as he scooped one of Joong’s hands up in his own.

“Come on, we’ve got an hour left before 12. Let’s make the most of it.” Seonghwa nodded towards the door, and he smiled.

He gave his hand a tug and Joong followed behind him as they headed back inside.

He stuck to Seonghwa for the rest of the night, or rather Seonghwa stuck to him. Joong offered to get the two of them drinks, but Seonghwa just held tightly to his hand and pulled him towards the kitchen. They stayed for a bit, Seonghwa teasing Joong about his mixing skills, and then Joong proceeding to choke on the drink Seonghwa mixed him. Seonghwa pouted, and Joong gave him his best puppy eyes, and then they both laughed.

When they finished, Joong tugged him back out to the dance floor. He was extremely pleased to find out that Seonghwa could also dance, which seemed to be a trend of Wooyoung’s friend group.

They followed his lead, arms around Seonghwa’s neck to keep him close. Seonghwa’s hands smoothed over his sides, mapping his hips and waist and torso mindlessly. When his touch tickled, Joong’s stomach would tense up and he would giggle softly. Seonghwa smiled when he did, his eyes never straying from his face.

Unlike Seonghwa, Joong couldn’t hold the eye contact for very long. He still felt like he was dreaming, like he’d wake up and nothing would have changed, and they’d still be strangers. When Joong broke away again, Seonghwa huffed and chased his gaze. He leaned down, far enough that their eyes were equal, and smiled at Joong’s shocked expression. Their faces were only inches apart, and Joong’s heart was in his throat, forgetting to breathe.

Without thinking, instinct took control and Joong’s eyes fluttered closed. Seonghwa watched, chuckling when he noticed the innocent act, and placed his lips gently on Joong’s forehead before he stood up straight again. Joong’s cheeks burned with embarrassment as he tore his eyes open again, feeling the trace of his lips on his skin. Seonghwa just smiled, running his hand up and down Joong’s side comfortingly. he smiled shyly as he tightened his grip on Seonghwa’s neck, trying to focus back on the music and off of his heart thundering in his chest.

“10 MINUTES!”

Joong perked at the voice yelling over the music, and the crowd around them slowed, looking around for friends and lovers. Joong dropped his arms, running them down Seonghwa’s chest on the way.

“I should find Yeosang,” Joong said, as close to his ear as he could reach.

Seonghwa nodded to him, and Joong looked around them in the crowded, dim room. He only realized then that he hadn’t seen Yeosang since they’d danced together, and he had no idea where he’d gone. He could only hope that he was still okay.

At that, Seonghwa gave Joong’s hand a tug. He looked up, and Seonghwa pointed at the kitchen.

“I’m just going to get champagne for us,” he called over the noise.

Joong nodded, and Seonghwa let go of his hand to head towards the kitchen. He continued to look around the room, bobbing between people with champagne in glasses, plastic cups, and even entire bottles. Someone yelled 8 minutes, and people were starting to head towards the front door. Joong didn’t see any trace of his friend, and had begun to look for the taller, red haired boy that Yeosang was last with. He assumed he’d be easier to spot, but Joong still had no luck.

By the time Seonghwa came back out, they had only 6 minutes left, and the main room was nearly empty. He had two plastic cups pinched between two fingers, and he reached out for Joong’s hand with his free one.

“Find your friend?” Seonghwa asked, and Joong shook his head.

“I don’t know where he could’ve gone,” he replied.

“Maybe he’s already outside,” Seonghwa offered, giving his hand a pull with a smile. “Don’t worry too much. He was with Mingi earlier, he’s safe.”

Joong hoped so, glad to know Seonghwa knew the other boy, and allowed himself to be tugged along as they followed the rest of the crowd outside and into the street. The firework show was always the highlight of the night, and even though Joong didn’t love fireworks, it was the last thing on his mind this year.

“3 MINUTES!”

They joined the group already waiting outside and giggled as cheers rose up around them.

Seonghwa handed Joong one of the cups and twisted an arm around his waist, pulling him flush against him. He smiled and curled close, enjoying the warmth of his body in the winter air.

Joong felt the warmth and gentle pressure of Seonghwa’s lips against his temple, and he hummed in satisfaction, twisting his arms around Seonghwa’s back. He felt safe, and warm, and happy. It was everything he could’ve wished for.

“10 SECONDS! 9! 8!”

Joong laughed as the crowd chanted the countdown, pulling his head away from Seonghwa’s chest so they could join.

“3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEARS!!”

The first set of fireworks go off, making Joong jump in surprise, but he smiled as Seonghwa’s arms tightened around him. He looked up, seeing the colors of the fireworks light up Seonghwa’s face as he smiled back down at him.

“Happy New Year’s, Seonghwa,” he said with a grin.

“Happy New Year’s, gorgeous,” Seonghwa answered, and raised his cup to his lips.

Joong did the same, tipping his chin back to drink the champagne in his cup.

When he looked back at Seonghwa after his first sip, he met his eyes with a smile. Immediately, Seonghwa discarded his half full cup of champagne onto the concrete, twisting his now empty hand around the back of Joong’s neck. His heart was racing, body tense with nerves, but he twisted a hand into Seonghwa’s silky top tightly and let his eyes drift close.

Seonghwa’s lips were gentle on his, almost too gentle. Joong could barely tell they were there. He pushed back softly, and Seonghwa let him, but didn’t respond. Joong pulled away to catch Seonghwa’s gaze.

When he leaned back, Seonghwa looked incredibly disappointed.

“I just wanted to let you process it, I didn’t want to push you too-,” Seonghwa started to explain, but stopped when Joong shook his head at him.

His eyes glittered with happiness, not disappointment. He tossed his cup to the floor as well, taking Seonghwa by surprise.

“I know, thank you. This is for real now.”

Joong pulled Seonghwa towards him, kissing him with more force. Seonghwa smiled into it, wrapping his arm tighter around his waist and nearly lifting his toes off the ground.

The fireworks exploded louder in Joong’s body then they did in the sky, and he didn’t hear the cheers around him until he had to pull back to breathe. Seonghwa’s lips chased his immediately, and he giggled when Seonghwa kissed his nose gently, panting.

“I found your friend,’ Seonghwa said with a smile, nodding to their side, “and some others, too.”

When he looked around, he saw Seonghwa’s-, _their_ , friends scattered around them. Wooyoung smiled widely at him, wrapped up in San’s arms. Yeosang was cheering, fist in the air and a huge coat draped over his slender frame. The red-haired boy was stood beside him, holding one of his hands, and Yeosang was leaned against him, smiling. Yunho gave him a thumbs up, another smaller but incredibly muscular, handsome boy next to him.

Joong laughed lightly at their audience, placing a kiss on Seonghwa’s cheek before he wrapped his arms around his middle and buried his face in the silky fabric.

Seonghwa placed his chin on top of Joong’s head, and he giggled softly. When he pulled his head back from Seonghwa’s chest, he tilted his head upwards to place a gentle kiss to Seonghwa’s jaw. Seonghwa smiled and ran his hand up and down Joong’s side. He leaned down to catch Joong’s lips in another kiss, to which he gladly obliged.

“Are you happy?” Seonghwa mouthed against his ear when he pulled back to catch his breath.

Joong nodded immediately. “So happy. Are you?”

“Very happy,” Seonghwa replied, and Joong’s cheeks flushed.

“Is this the New Year’s you were hoping for?” Seonghwa continued.

Joong smiled and stretched to press his lips to Seonghwa’s jaw again.

“Everything and more.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading<3 Please leave a kudos/comment if you liked it!


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